Last Saturday Mr. A and I happily dropped Miss L off with Nana and Papa and spent four hours just with each other–and the other couple hundred people at the Shakespeare Theater that night, but you know what I mean.
We dressed up. My makeup was more than what I normally do. My hair was up. Mr. A wasn’t wearing a baseball cap. We treated it like a special occasion, because it is, even though it’s not exactly rare. We only have date night about once a month. With our busy schedules, that’s about all we can manage. But when we do go out, we focus on each other. We don’t discuss Miss L . We don’t call Miss L or check in with Nana and Papa (although we do leave our phones on, just in case there is an emergency, of course).
I wish we could have date night two or three times a month. That’s our goal. Here’s the funny thing: My mom friends think I’m crazy–some of them haven’t been out with just their husbands in six months or more. They all blame the same thing: the kids. They can’t go out with just their husbands because of their kids.
Well, I find that just appalling. And for the same reason: the kids. To me, date night isn’t just about getting out and having fun. And while it is about reconnecting with Mr. A on a husband-wife level, rather than mom-dad level, I don’t just want that connection for myself. I want it for Miss L. As someone who suffered through my parents’ miserable, black hole divorce, I know that I don’t want Miss L to go through what I went through.
The best thing we moms can give our children is a strong family–a mother and father who love each other and their children, the security that we will both always be here for her. Everything she needs will be under one roof, not divided into separate homes, separate holidays, and separate lives. We owe that to our children.
BTW, if you live in the DC metro area, I highly recommend you go see The Merchant of Venice at the Shakespeare Theater. It was brilliant!