Last night I received an email from a reader asking for advice on a daycare situation. I don’t know what surprised me more, that I have a regular reader, or someone actually thought I might give useful advice! 🙂 Happy to oblige, of course, and hopefully other readers will also share some advice.
Dear Mrs. A,
Need advice! My son is in a daycare that, all in all, I’m really happy with. He has been in his current classroom for about 8 months. His friends (who are all around the same age, give or take a few months) are all moving up to the next classroom in September. My son won’t be joining them. Apparently he missed the age cutoff by less than a month. I was disappointed because he will now be the oldest in his class, and can’t move up for another year. I think he is going to regress on things like pottytraining, because no one else in his current class is old enough yet. He prefers older kids and has zero interest in playing with the “babies.” I let it go because I didn’t think I had a choice. Now I hear that a child younger than my son is moving up! I bet her parents made a big deal about it, and that’s why she is moving up. What should I do?
Wow! I was actually in a similar situation with Miss L not too long ago. At Miss L’s daycare, there are two rooms for one-year-olds. When it was time for her to move up from the infant room, I stated my preference and didn’t get it. Oh, well, I thought, that’s life. Since each room hasa cap on how many children it can have, who goes into what room when largely depends on which room has an opening. Despite the disappointment, I was relieved to see that at least one little girl Miss L was familiar with, Miss P, was already in her new room. I said this to Miss P’s mom. To my surprise, she told me that Miss P would not be staying in that room; it was temporary until Miss P could move to the room her mom really wanted. If you made a big enough fuss, according to Miss P’s mom, the daycare would do this for you.
After considering my options, I decided Miss L should stay in her new classroom, rather than moving again and readjusting to new teachers all over again. The next classroom change, however, went much differently because I took a firm stand very early in the process.
So here’s my advice, based on my experience: Be that mom–the bitchy one, the fussy one, the selfish one, the one that makes a scene. Whatever you want to call her. I know it’s embarrassing. I know it’s uncivilized. Do it anyway.
Being a mom is like being a lawyer: You have to be an advocate for your
client child. Be sure, however, that the fight is one that’s worth it. You can only play the Bitch so many times before you get thrown out of court daycare.
In my case, I was glad I didn’t cause a fuss the first time around. I ended up loving her classroom, and it was much easier on Miss L than changing again. In your case, however, it seems worth it to take a stand. Make sure the age limit is set by the daycare and not by law or by an accrediting institution before you proceed, however.
Anyone else want to weigh in? Leave your advice in the comments!